It is the end, I finally graduated from textile school. Three years of insanely busy times, lack of sleep, untidy home and then 2 months ago it all suddenly ended. The soft sculpture, a white textile bird, was my graduation project, I was rewarded with the highest grade.
But there was no joy. I felt totally out of place, empty inside, numb almost. After processing these feelings I understand that at one hand the change was huge. Suddenly I woke up in the morning and had no urgent to-do list awaiting. This transition took couple of weeks.
But the other cause for my grief-like state was the emotional temperature at the final exam. The appraisal committee was polite and diplomatic, but in my case also indifferent. They couldn’t fault anything, but didn’t say anything in favour, either. My topic was surprising, as they said, and perhaps that is the reason, they simply didn’t know how to react.
All this emotional turmoil made me doubt myself, feeling incompetent, imposter syndrome kicked in hard. I feel sorry for myself, a meant-to-be happy occasion turned out to have a rather devastating effect.
Today, 2 months later, my mind is clear, my house is tidy and new projects are forming.
I’m very exited about a nonprofit organisation TIA (Tee Ise Akadeemia, Do it Yourself Academy). It’s still in creation process, but with dear friends we’ve been talking about for couple of years already.
The catalyst behind TIA is a concern for continuously decreasing crafting skills. I see teenagers who can’t sew a button or make a difference between knitting and crochet. I’d go as far to call it a crisis prevention.
I started knitting very special stockings. They are called wedge stockings and the end result should look like on the right picture. First one for me!
This is a very special project. I’m set out to create 5 animal dolls. Each designed with a certain person in mind and an old sweater as an obligatory material.
These dolls will warm the hearts of 5 siblings and the sweater belonged to their long deceased mum. I’m honoured, puzzled, exicted, terrified. I so very much want this to turn out nothing but perfect!
Hedvig
omailm 