Inspiration – omailm

The End. Or?

It is the end, I finally graduated from textile school. Three years of insanely busy times, lack of sleep, untidy home and then 2 months ago it all suddenly ended. The soft sculpture, a white textile bird, was my graduation project, I was rewarded with the highest grade.

But there was no joy. I felt totally out of place, empty inside, numb almost. After processing these feelings I understand that at one hand the change was huge. Suddenly I woke up in the morning and had no urgent to-do list awaiting. This transition took couple of weeks.

But the other cause for my grief-like state was the emotional temperature at the final exam. The appraisal committee was polite and diplomatic, but in my case also indifferent. They couldn’t fault anything, but didn’t say anything in favour, either. My topic was surprising, as they said, and perhaps that is the reason, they simply didn’t know how to react.

All this emotional turmoil made me doubt myself, feeling incompetent, imposter syndrome kicked in hard. I feel sorry for myself, a meant-to-be happy occasion turned out to have a rather devastating effect.

Today, 2 months later, my mind is clear, my house is tidy and new projects are forming.

I’m very exited about a nonprofit organisation TIA (Tee Ise Akadeemia, Do it Yourself Academy). It’s still in creation process, but with dear friends we’ve been talking about for couple of years already.

The catalyst behind TIA is a concern for continuously decreasing crafting skills. I see teenagers who can’t sew a button or make a difference between knitting and crochet. I’d go as far to call it a crisis prevention.

I started knitting very special stockings. They are called wedge stockings and the end result should look like on the right picture. First one for me!

This is a very special project. I’m set out to create 5 animal dolls. Each designed with a certain person in mind and an old sweater as an obligatory material.

These dolls will warm the hearts of 5 siblings and the sweater belonged to their long deceased mum. I’m honoured, puzzled, exicted, terrified. I so very much want this to turn out nothing but perfect!

Hedvig

Loose Ends Project

Craft, Inspiration

Today’s post is going to be bilingual. I see a lot of fellow estonians visiting my site and I want to have no barriers in spreading the word about a charity organization, that speaks to me loudly – Loose Ends Project.

The idea behind the Loose Ends Project is to connect people, who have lost a loved one with unfinished craft project and a finisher, a crafter, who finishes that project. Isn’t it amazing? Both my parents and my grandparents are no longer with us. Without exception they were all very artsy and crafty – painted, restored furniture, made jewelry, weaved, sewed, crocheted… you name it. I feel so connected each time I use their tools or crafted items and I would love to spread the feeling.

I have signed up as a finisher and now twiddling my thumbs and waiting for a project. My concern is that from my distant corner of the world I may need to wait for a long time… They always try to match the family with a finisher from close geographical spots. There is a subcommunity of finishers in Finland, but not in Estonia. And that is why I want to share this! To get the word out and let everyone know about this wonderful project!

Tomorrow the school starts. Over are the lazy days and also warmth, sadly. It’s raining heavily, my cat and dog just sleep and I felt the autumn chill in my bones today. Hopefully we’ll have the indian summer, I’d like to go pick some mushrooms.

Sügis on kohal. Vihma lausa kallab ja täna tundsin, et kodus on jahe. Algab see ebameeldiv aeg, mis jääb suvesooja ning kütteperioodi vahele. Homme liigub elu tagasi rutiini, lapsed lähevad kooli. Loodan siiski pikale vananaistesuvele, saaks mõnusalt seenel käia.

Tahan tutvustada ühte heategevusorganisatsiooni – Loose Ends Project. Nad sattusid minu Instagrami feed‘i ja olen “müüdud” esimesest hetkest. Organisatsioon tegutseb üleilmse võrgustikuna ning nende eesmärk on kokku viia inimesed, kes on kaotanud lähedase ja kellest on pooleli jäänud mõni käsitööprojekt ning lõpetaja, käsitöölise, kes selle eseme valmis teeb. Kas pole imeline? Minu vanemad ja vanavanemad on juba ammu siitilmast lahkunud. Nad olid kõik kunstnikud ja käsitöölised, olen pärinud nende tööriistad, mida kasutan. Mulle meeldib mõte, et nendel asjadel oma hing ja lugu ja ma tunnen neid kasutades mingis mõttes ühendust oma eellastega. Seda enam tundub mulle selliste mahajäänud projektide lõpetamine ääretult sümpaatse ettevõtmisena.

Panin end lõpetajana kirja ja ootan oma esimest projekti. Paraku pean tõenäoliselt väga pikalt ootama.. Kuigi organisatsioon tegutseb rahvusvaheliselt, ei teata siin ilmanurgas sellest kuigi palju. Ja eesmärk on kokku viia projekt ja lõpetaja võimalikult samast geograafilisest asukohast, et postikulud oleksid madalad. Lähim riik, kus on omaette lõpetajate kogukond, on Soome. Väga loodan, et peagi levib sõna ka Eestis ja saame oma oskustega tuua helgust ja hoida mälestusi.

Love,

Hedvig

Making zen and Night of Museums

Craft, Inspiration

Recently I took part from Sketchbook revival online event dedicated to sketchbooking. This week I ran through something similar, but shorter, more concetrated and dedicated to stitching. Making Zen – 5 days, 4 sessions per day and the days patch available only for 24 hours dedicated to slow stitching and embroidery. I watched them all, made notes, but actually stitched only a little. Still really inspirational event, some ideas yet to try out, definitely planning to take part again next year.

Slow stitched brooches made of bottle caps and scrap fabric with Heidi Parkes.

I’ve admired Mirjam Gielen work for a while. She is the soul behind Making Zen and for my delight she had a session on her stacked running stitch technique. This is definitely something to explore further and I plan to implement this into my work.

Also, I learned a trick to create graduating colours in stitchwork. It’s so simple – just use thread strands from both colours between moving from one colour to another!

Last night was the Night of Museums. This years topic was Movement in the night. I work in the archives and in our collections we have old court archives, so we decided to translate the topic as “shady movements”. To be more specific – movement leaves traces. We had a lecture on criminalistics and curiosities, old chronic reels, exhibition of evidences and of course traditional repository tours and workshops. A LOT of people came, which is absolutely wonderful, but it also means that today I avoid socializing 🙂

Workshops on scissor cuts and bookmarks made of film strips for little ones.

Some lovely blossoms from dog walks.

Back to my cryptonite – the crochet project.

Hedvig

Anticipating spring.

Art, Craft, Inspiration

Quite a busy week it has been. I’ve skipped a couple of days in my daily sketching challenge, but I did have an extremely good excuse – it was my birthday.

A rose for my dear friend, who also had birthday this week.

I just can’t wait for the spring to arrive! I do understand it’s only March, but still.. I’m so utterly tired of snow, cold and winter clothes. Birds have snuggled away somewhere and trees seem to be frozen in place.

I’ve done a wee bit of handicraft, a woolen machine knitted plaid is waiting to be pretty. The pattern is inspired by little rocks and grasses growing between them. Emroidery is still work in progress, but there’s not much left to do and soon I can share a photo of the end result!

Check my Insta!

Hedvig

Vabatahtlikuna muuseumis I / Volunteer at the museum I

Craft, Inspiration

Eelmisel suvel olin lühikesel praktikal Hiiumaa muuseumis. Õppisin muuseumiesemeid kirjeldama ning koopiajoonist tegema. Esemed kirjeldamiseks sain ise valida, eeltöö tegin muisis ja kohapeal vaatasime hoidlas ringi.

Minu valikusse jäi tikitud padi HKM _ 3532:2 Tst 9:16

Padja kirjeldamine ja mahajoonistamine oli paras väljakutse. Tundub, et mis seal siis ära ei ole, aga süvenema hakates on palju detaile. Lõpuks tundus kõige mõistlikum lahendus kalka padjale asetada ja tikand ettevaatlikult maha joonistada.

Värvidele otsisin kaasavõetud lõngajuppide hulgast vasted ning pildistasin padja ja tikandi iga nurga alt üles, et kodus joonist tehes kogu info olemas oleks. Valguslaual sai üsna hõlpsasti joonise puhtalt maha võtta. Vormistasin tikandijoonise koos kirjeldusega ja püüdsin teha ka värvidega koopiajoonist.

Värvidega joonist teha oli keeruline. Joonis oli üsna suur, 1:1 suuruses, mis muutis pindade katmise keeruliseks. Just tausta värvimine oli raske ja ega lõpptulemus liiga hea ei saanudki. On nagu on, otsustasin, et ei kuluta rohkem aega. Ja väga hull ju ka ei ole.

Last summer I was an intern at Hiiumaa Museum for a short period of time. I learned how to describe museum textiles and how to make a copy drawing. I chose the objects for describing myself, First I did some research in muis, but they allowed me to look around in the repository as well.

I chose an embroidered pillow for my first task HKM _ 3532:2 Tst 9:16.

Describing and drawing the pillow turned out to be quite a challenge. At first glance it seems like an easy task, but once you dwell into it, there’s a lot of details. After several attempts I decided to use tracing paper and precautiously copied the image from pillow.

To identify colours I had brought a box full of yarn examples, so now I just needed to find the right ones. I also photographed the pillow from all possible angles to be sure, that when I’m at home making a pattern and drawing, I would have all the info I needed. To make a clear drawing of the embroidery, I found lighting table very useful. To the drawing I added list of embroidery stitches used on the original.

Lastly I attempted to make a coloured copy drawing of the pillow. That was so difficult. The drawing is quite large, in scale 1:1, what made it difficult to cover the surfeces evenly. Specially the background was hard and I admit the result isn’t too good. But I decided to leave it as it is and not to spend extensive amount of time. And overall I think it’s okay.

Mõtlen ja joonistan / Think and draw

Art, Inspiration, Sketchbook challenge

Mu pea on mõtteid nii täis, et vahepeal tuleb neid maha laadida ja korrastada, selgust luua. Olen viimased umbes 5 aastat olnud mingis veidras keerises. Tunnen, et vajan muutust, aga ei tea millist; tahan teistsugust elu, aga ei tea millist jne. Mul on vist keskeakriis 🙂 Tänaseks olen enda jaoks sõnastanud eesmärgid, kuhu tahan jõuda, loonud endale selgust ja teen teadlikke pingutusi sihile jõudmiseks. Luban endale protsessi nautimist ja vajadusel eesmärkide ümbersõnastamist. Olen avastanud, et plaani sõnastamine aitab mul fookust hoida ja tegutseda, hoiab mõtted positiivsel poolel.

“Joonistan iga päev” väljakutse on samuti osa protsessist. Mulle meeldib joonistada ja mulle endale tundub, et tuleb päris hästi välja, seega tahan seda oma ellu tagasi tuua. Alguses joonistasin poolsalaja, sest olen oma ebakindluses haavatav, aga julgustav on kuulda, kuidas mu teismeline tütar peaaegu kiidab mind ja pakub teemasid joonistamiseks.

Sel nädalal katsetasin akvarellidega. Pliiatsiga on mul head suhted, aga värvid on minu mugavustsoonist väga väljas. Oh, kuidas mulle meeldis! Need on kiired visandid, viimased 15 minutit enne magamaminekut, aga nii toredad tulid.

My head is so full of thoughts that they need to be downloaded and defragmented to create some clarity. For the last five years or so I’ve been in a weird turmoil. I feel that I need a change, but don’t know what kind, I want to live differently, but don’t know how etc. Maybe it’s a middle age crisis 🙂

For now I’ve figured out the goals I want to reach, created at least some clarity for myself and am making conscious efforts to achieve my goals. I’m allowing myself to enjoy the process and rephrase the preset milestones if necessary. I’ve realized how laying out a plan helps me keep my focus and keeps me actually doing things, helping to keep my thoughts on the positive side.

“Daily drawing” challenge is also part of the process. I really do like to draw and I think I’m pretty good at it, so I want to bring this practise back into my life. At first I kept my drawing semi secret, because I’m very vulnerable in my insecurity, but lately it’s been assuring to hear my teenage daughter almost praise me and she even offers ideas for my drawing!

This week I played with watercolours. I feel somewhat custom with a pencil, but paints are so out of my comfort zone. Boy, I liked it! These sketches are super fast, my last 15 minutes before going to bed, but they turned out really nice!

Lubadused

Art, Craft, Inspiration

Aasta algus toob endaga kaasa uue energia, eks seepärast me kõiksuguseid uusaastalubadusi annamegi. Ma ei teinud elumuutvaid otsuseid, isegi rohkem trenni ei lubanud tegema hakata. Siiski, üldises alustamise tuules tegin omale tööplaani, et pooleliolevad tegemised (loe:kool) saaksid lõpetatud. Siiani on asjad edenenud hästi, olen suutnud oma plaanist kinni pidada ja päris mitmed pisikesed tüütud sabad ära lõpetada.

Kõladega kudumise tööproovid said valmis!

Jaanuari alguses jõudis lõpule minu coachiks saamise teekond. Tegin ära litsentsi eksami ja võin end uhkusega rahvusvaheliselt akrediteeritud coachiks nimetada (ACC ehk Associated Certified Coach)! Ma olen väga õnnelik ja tänulik, et sain sellel teekonnal olla. Coaching on mind inimesena nii palju kasvatanud ja ma olen oma armsate klientide pealt näinud, kui võimsad tööriistad on kuulamine, emotsionaalne toetamine ja pehme nügimine eesmärkide saavutamise suunas. Coachina soovin kindlasti jätkata, vaja on vaid kõva häälega maailmale öelda, et olen siin ja valmis 🙂

Kooli lõpp ja kutseeksam toimuvad millalgi sügisel, ilmselt oktoobris. Tundub, et aega ju laialt. Aga see tunne on lõks, mis lõpeb magamata ööde ja stressipuhangutega, nii palju olen siis elus õppinud. Tahan seekord targem olla, valmis olla, endaga rahul olla. Kuskilt on kõrva jäänud ütlemine, et ei olemas ükssarvikuid, on ainult pühendunud inimesed. Ja teine mõte, mida loomingulist teed alustavatele kõhklejatele korrutatakse – lihtsalt hakka pihta! Looming on protsess, sa võid terve maailma kokku mõelda, aga kuni sa reaalselt midagi tegema pole hakanud, ei vii need mõtted kuhugi.

Mina olen suur mõtleja. Ideid on mul palju, aga tegudeni jõudmine keeruline. Hirmus enesekriitiline olen ka. Üks mu hea sõber ikka muigab, et perfektsionisti elu ei ole kerge.

Nüüd minu otsus või lubadus iseendale – hakkan tegutsema! Hakkan teadlikult kujundama harjumust iga päev midagi joonistada, et mu käsi oleks soe ja mõtted saaksid vormi. Algatuseks ja harjumuse loomiseks alustasin 45 päeva väljakutset ehk võtan iga päev 15 minutit ja visandan midagi oma joonistusplokki. Ja et ennast kuidagi oma lubaduse ees vastutavana hoida, siis jagan seda joonistust oma instagrami lehel.

Start! Päev 1. Kõrv Kalamaja muuseumi seinal

Minu teine lubadus on siin blogis oma tegemistest kirjutada. Ei ole kindlat teemat, rohkem tunnete ventileerimine ja minu kunstnikuks kasvamise teekonna kõhklused ja väljakutsed (sest ma tahan ennast määratleda kunstnikuna, see on ju okei?). Eks näis, kuhu ma välja jõuan 🙂 Luban, et postitan midagi igal pühapäeval. Ma armastan aeglaseid pühapäeva hommikuid kuuma kohviga, arvan, et see on hea aeg nädalale tagasi vaadata.

Heade mõtetega

Hedvig